Snakes! I don't like snakes!-Part 2

Today is a new day.  I am still not going to go and clean out the garage. (If you don't know that drama read http://ahaideas.blogspot.com/2012/03/snakes-i-dont-like-snakes.html)

It is pretty.
It isn't raining. 
It isn't 100 degrees outside.
I think I will go and do some yard work. 

This is where I should stopped and gone to facebook and played Rummikub or Bubble Pop!

I knew that there was a chance that the snake from yesterday could POSSIBLY be out there...bigger and with his whole family now, but I was determined to clean the back yard.  Here is how the story goes. 

I tend to procrastinate at times. It is true, ask my mom.  I almost didn't graduate from high school because I procrastinated taking a correspondence class.My high school counselor had to call and beg them to grade it so I could walk across the stage.

Anyway, we were trying to be good to our earth and recycle our aluminum cans.  One bag filled up and then another and then another until I looked at the pile and thought our yard looked like Sanford and Sons. 

I went to go get the bags and put them in the Jeep to take them to the recycling center.  I took a rake with me.  Why you ask?  I am going to poke at the bags so if the snake family is living under the bags they can move before I have a heart attack.  I am poking and lifting the first bag and there a lot of rolly pollys but otherwise, I am good to go.

UNTIL...

the bag broke.  I guess they had been sitting out there  lot longer than I remember.  My procrastination has now earned me extra work! 

I go and get the trash bags and start picking up the cans and re-bagging them.  The first bag is done and now so is the second.  All is going good.  I am still looking out for the snake, but no sign of him. 

The third bag...poke and move around, lots of rolly pollys, no snakes, but now RED CENTIPEDES.  Are you kidding me?  I thought I only saw those at Lakeview.  I promptly get my centipede killing stick (don't ask why I got a stick)  All I could think of is I have to kill these two new red friends before Cowboy finds them.  So I "chopped" those in half and proceeded to bagging. 

The fourth bag..poke and move around, lots of rolly pollys, no snakes, no centipedes, let's start bagging.  I am picking some of the cans up and out pops a lizard. 

Now here is where you have to use your imagination.  I am holding a new bag that is almost full in my left hand, blue gloves on both hands, and I am using the right hand to pick up the cans and toss them into the bag. When the large iguana lizard, not really but that is what I saw, came out of the bag. I really though it was a snake.  I drop the bag that is in my left hand, throw the cans that are in my right hand, stumble backwards to get away from this horrible creature that looked similar to a dilophosaurus, you know the one that spit the poisonous black stuff on Newman (Wayne Knight) in Jurassic Park, and then trip over Cowboy leaving me susceptible to this creature. 

I realize that it is only a lizard and look around to see if anyone saw that.  There is light at the end of the tunnel.  Only 2 more bags AND no snakes.

Now here is why the title of this blog is called, "Snakes!  I don't like snakes!-Part 2

The fifth bag...poke and move around...and there he is.

I SWEAR IT IS THE SAME SNAKE AS YESTERDAY! 

I wish I was braver.  I would have gone to get my camera so I could show everyone the snake that is stalking me during my spring break.  I am looking around to see what I can kill it with.  If you know me at all you are very impressed that I am even thinking about getting that close to a snake to kill it.  But it must be done.  My good friend Neoma always says, "The only good snake is a dead snake."

I saw the centipede killing sticks and realize that I would be entirely too close to the snake so I keep looking.  I see a board that is cut at an angle and realize, without removing my eyes from the snake this is my only choice. The snake is against the fence and it is going to be hard to kill. 

I chickened out and he slithered away.  I have decided I need a frozen thin mint to "calm" my nerves. 

I am almost done.  I can't let this snake win. Back outside I go. 

I get to the last bag, pick it up and he is underneath all coiled up.  I reach for my handy dandy snake killing board and slam it down on the tail of the snake. He is attacking the board, mouth wide open.  I went to strike him again and I hit the bottom of the fence and it broke.  No time to worry about that.  I go for the snake again and...

I KILLED HIM!

I ran around the yard like I had just won a million dollars. Victory is mine!!!

So as I am telling you this I am thinking, "Yes! I killed him! Wait, what if he was the baby snake and his mama is ticked off and is plotting her revenge?"

I think I will go clean the garage!

Snakes! I don't like snakes!

So, one of my favorite Christmas books is called, "Who Will Guide My Sleigh Tonight".  If you have children it is a must read.  Heck, if you don't have kids it is just fun and why shouldn't we have fun.  Especially during the holiday season!

So you are probably thinking to yourself, "Why is she talking about Christmas in March?" On any other day that would be a fair question.  BUT NOT TODAY!

There is a page in the story about snakes and let's just say I agree with Santa(I don't want to give the story away)!

So I was cleaning out the garage.  I have wanted to do this CHORE forever.  I have finally decided that since I am on Spring Break and it wasn't TOO hot I would get this done.  I mean how long can this actually take, right!

It started off by throwing some old Cleveland Drill Team tapes away.  That was harder than I thought.  I thought that this is where my 12 step program would need to start.  I seriously thought, "Maybe I should take a break and go and watch the reality TV show Hoarders.  No, Alise!  Keep going!" It had been a couple of hours and I could see some progress.  I stayed on one side of the garage and I was to the sweeping! I would finish sweeping that half of the garage and then I would work on the other half with Matthew since it is the side with the t-shirt equipment and all of I the supplies.  

As I move a piece of sheetrock, there he is.  The biggest snake known to man.  OK, really he was about the diameter of a pencil and as long as a ruler (do you like my measurements?  Thanks Teresa C.!)  It is him against me?  There he lay sticking his tongue out at me...the audacity!  He was in MY garage.  What do I do? Jump and scream while holding onto the broom , of course.  I guess he did not like my high pitch scream so he slithered out of the garage. 

I have now decided that the other half of the garage is just going to be dirty!